I remember being younger -- like in my late teens and early 20s -- and seeing people who were overweight.
And I remember thinking, "How did they let themselves get like that?"
And this last week -- after a lot of thinking (it's not like it snuck up on me, literally) -- I realized I had become one of those people.
So, it's time to take it all back.
No big announcement. I'm not joining Weight Watchers. I'm not getting a lap band.
I'm just making changes. Slowly. Quietly.
And I'll keep you informed.
I'm going to need all the luck and determination I can get.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
I have deliberately avoided Facebook for many years now, mostly because -- when it started -- it was only for college students, and I was already well past my college years.
So why did I decide that yesterday was the day to open Pandora's Box?
I started at 2:00 pm yesterday and became so obsessive, that I checked it when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night.
I definitely have something wrong with me. And I also feel a fierce sense of competition to wrack up 'friends' online, even though I can't keep in touch with all of the real-life friends I already have.
I never should have done it.
So why did I decide that yesterday was the day to open Pandora's Box?
I started at 2:00 pm yesterday and became so obsessive, that I checked it when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night.
I definitely have something wrong with me. And I also feel a fierce sense of competition to wrack up 'friends' online, even though I can't keep in touch with all of the real-life friends I already have.
I never should have done it.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Giggling Again For No Reason
For whatever reason, music doesn't always have the same effect on me as it did in the past.
Sometimes -- and it's not all that often -- a song will seep into my head the way it used to when I was younger...
When I was a freshman in college, Tears for Fears released THE SEEDS OF LOVE CD, and I was literally obsessed. I remember sitting in the lecture halls of Syracuse University, and rather than pay attention to the professors, I would scrawl the lyrics to the various songs from the CD and relive the music over and over and over again.
And yes, I still have those notebooks (Why? I don't know), but it takes me right back there. It's the Fall of 1989. I'm trying to find myself, trying to fit in, trying to understand who I was then. And there is something so passionate about those lyrics and how the music stuck with me. I couldn't wait to get back to my dorm room and listen to the song again.
As I hit my late 30s, it just doesn't seem to happen like that anymore.
That is, it doesn't USUALLY happen.
But when Alanis Morrisette released her new CD, I downloaded it -- more out of obligation than anything else -- and I was pleasantly surprised. A lot of good songs, but one in particular really stood out to me -- and has that same effect on me that TFF had back in the day...
GIGGLING AGAIN FOR NO REASON.
I don't know what it is about this song -- is it the weird hypnotically techno beat to it (reminiscent of Madonna's RAY OF LIGHT?)? Is it Alanis's oddly catchy new-agey/self-empowering lyrics? Is it the notion of running away and driving up the 5 and leaving everyone clamouring for answers -- reclaiming one's life? Is it just that rare intersection of music/life hitting where a song can break through all of the clutter in my life and remind me how important music can be?
Who knows? But I can't get it out of my head.
I think I'm going to go write the lyrics on my notebook and remember, fondly, a more innocent time in my life.
Sometimes -- and it's not all that often -- a song will seep into my head the way it used to when I was younger...
When I was a freshman in college, Tears for Fears released THE SEEDS OF LOVE CD, and I was literally obsessed. I remember sitting in the lecture halls of Syracuse University, and rather than pay attention to the professors, I would scrawl the lyrics to the various songs from the CD and relive the music over and over and over again.
And yes, I still have those notebooks (Why? I don't know), but it takes me right back there. It's the Fall of 1989. I'm trying to find myself, trying to fit in, trying to understand who I was then. And there is something so passionate about those lyrics and how the music stuck with me. I couldn't wait to get back to my dorm room and listen to the song again.
As I hit my late 30s, it just doesn't seem to happen like that anymore.
That is, it doesn't USUALLY happen.
But when Alanis Morrisette released her new CD, I downloaded it -- more out of obligation than anything else -- and I was pleasantly surprised. A lot of good songs, but one in particular really stood out to me -- and has that same effect on me that TFF had back in the day...
GIGGLING AGAIN FOR NO REASON.
I don't know what it is about this song -- is it the weird hypnotically techno beat to it (reminiscent of Madonna's RAY OF LIGHT?)? Is it Alanis's oddly catchy new-agey/self-empowering lyrics? Is it the notion of running away and driving up the 5 and leaving everyone clamouring for answers -- reclaiming one's life? Is it just that rare intersection of music/life hitting where a song can break through all of the clutter in my life and remind me how important music can be?
Who knows? But I can't get it out of my head.
I think I'm going to go write the lyrics on my notebook and remember, fondly, a more innocent time in my life.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Shhhh. I'm a Secret.
The old adage, if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, will it make a sound?, is about to get tested.
I'm not telling anyone I'm blogging again.
And since I wasn't smart enough to save and transfer my old blog accounts from MTV when I left the company, I no longer have access to the good old 'Drew's So-Called Life' or 'Insecurities Aloud' blogs I wrote back in the day.
It all seems kind of useless, really. I'm about 10 years late to the party on this, but it might inspire me to do some random writing. And who knows? Maybe I'll challenge myself to do a few things I've always meant to do...
Such as, you ask?
* Lose a lot of weight without telling anyone I'm going to do it
* Finally re-read THE COMING STORM and adapt it into a screenplay. (I don't even mean to sell it, for God's sake...just to prove that I can fucking do it...and be done with it...it literally haunts me every week or so...)
* Create that pilot for EULOGY that I think is so genius, as well...
* Just provide myself with a place that is all me...and no one else...no need to please anyone else -- and perhaps, enlighten myself with my (soon to be) 37 year old self later down the road.
OK. This is weird. It's like speaking into an echo chamber, really.
But let's see what happens.
I'm not telling anyone I'm blogging again.
And since I wasn't smart enough to save and transfer my old blog accounts from MTV when I left the company, I no longer have access to the good old 'Drew's So-Called Life' or 'Insecurities Aloud' blogs I wrote back in the day.
It all seems kind of useless, really. I'm about 10 years late to the party on this, but it might inspire me to do some random writing. And who knows? Maybe I'll challenge myself to do a few things I've always meant to do...
Such as, you ask?
* Lose a lot of weight without telling anyone I'm going to do it
* Finally re-read THE COMING STORM and adapt it into a screenplay. (I don't even mean to sell it, for God's sake...just to prove that I can fucking do it...and be done with it...it literally haunts me every week or so...)
* Create that pilot for EULOGY that I think is so genius, as well...
* Just provide myself with a place that is all me...and no one else...no need to please anyone else -- and perhaps, enlighten myself with my (soon to be) 37 year old self later down the road.
OK. This is weird. It's like speaking into an echo chamber, really.
But let's see what happens.
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